Saturday, December 26, 2009


Not cow or drinking a beer, I'm talking about the type of tipping that you do at a restaurant or a taxi ride. I have a beef with this, you might say I have a very large beef with tipping. Why do we tip? Better yet, why do we tip the professions that we tip? We recently took a trip to NYC for christmas joy and it was just that, pure joy. However, we were forced into tipping left and right. We tipped the taxi driver after taking us to the hotel. We tipped the waiter at breakfast the next morning. We tipped the guy that let the horse drag us around Central Park. We tipped the waitress that night at dinner. We tipped the guy at breakfast again, and again the lady that brought us our food. We even tipped the door man for hailing us a cab, and finally, we tipped the taxi guy for bringing us back to the airport.

What did these clowns do that deserved extra money? Seriously. I ask reader, what did they do above and beyond their job to deserve more money? Why are we so conditioned to tip some jobs but not others? Why does a guy get an extra 4 bucks for driving me from point A to point B? That's his JOB! He is a taxi driver. He is supposed to drive me from A to B. Am I tipping him for not killing me in a crash? really? If he killed one person wouldn't he be fired from his taxi job? How about that waiter or waitress? Isn't she supposed to bring me my food? Isn't she supposed to fill up my water? That's her job description right? I'm not blowing her mind when I ask her what the steak is marinated in am I? The guy hailing me a cab, that's his job. The clown with the horse carriage, he should spend any and all extra money he receives on carrots for his horse.

I don't get it. I honestly don't. My father was a teacher/counselor and coach for 35 years. Did he receive one tip from a family that he helped by smacking their kid's mentality with a little common sense? What about a defensive end that he coached into a full out scholarship at THE ohio state university? Did that family come in and Tip him one tenth of the $26,000 a year they saved by not paying tuition? How about my mom that deals with autistic children all day long for 30 years? When they leave these kids that can't even use the restroom at the right time can balance a checkbook. Mom never came home from work with a smile and saying "you won't believe the Tip I got today from Johnny's family"

What about a doctor? The guy that just performed Triple Heart Bipass surgery to save your father or husband's life. Did you go tip them? Of course not. What about the farmer that grew that delicious corn you eat all summer long? Do you happen to take the time to husk a few dollars his way for his service?

The Garbage man? The guy that picks up your garbage. Deals with your, forgive my language, shit at the freezing dawn of the morning, all week. Do we tip them for removing this? No.

Heard of the swine flu? Oops, the H1N1. What about millions of people that received the vaccine? Did you? If you did, did you whip out a fiver for the nurse for delivering a perfect shot that maybe saved your life? What about the pharmacist that gives you the right medication? How about an extra coin in his pocket for giving you the right dosage?

I could honestly go on for the next six hours about people we tip but I have to go to dinner with my beautiful wife, and yes, we'll tip the food transporter for doing such a miraculous job that makes the emergency c-section being performed right now somewhere in the world as simple as sharpening a pencil.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


the webster dictionary definition of revelation is: : something that is revealed; especially : an enlightening or astonishing disclosure

Let me tell you about a few revelations I had this weekend. I went to pittsburgh with my brother a few cronies to watch the UC vs Pitt football game.

1. Football played in snow is automatically much more exciting. Seeing elite athletes still perform at a high level in harsh elements is impressive. Imagine Lebron shooting a 3 with the air conditioning set to 32 degrees.

2. Being married means that when going out to the bar with guys on a roadtrip you don't have to worry about that awkward feeling of wanting to impress girls anymore, and it's great.

3. Wearing a ridiculously large coat or a baggy hooded sweatshirt to a college bar because of revelation #2 is totally normal.

4. If you have a friend that is in the military and home on leave....a night can be filled with making hilarious jokes about their jason bourne likeness.

5. Putting a panera in the bottom of a hotel is genius.

6. A late night food joint could serve anything at 2:30 a.m. and people will love it, even if they don't serve you the fountain drink that is promised with the special.

7. Pittsburgh fans love two things, blaming random fans for referee's bad calls and large push broom style mustaches.

8. A defensive coach should always wear short sleeves for four full quarters in the snow.

9. Always jump on the "we should do this" moments instead of finding excuses to not do something.

10. Last revelation I am discovering is that I stop lists at 10. I don't know what it is, but i hit ten and that feels right. Maybe I should have stopped at 6, or maybe should I keep going, but I'm going to stop.