Sunday, October 31, 2010

Diapers, listen up.

The following is not a joke. I actually am being serious.

Listen up anyone that happens to work for a company that might market, produce, design, or do anything with diapers. (i.e. my sister n law Leah). This blog is for you, so grab a cup of coffee, pen and pad, and open start designing that corner office you've always wanted because the idea I'm going to give you to present to your boss will surely end with you being promoted to vice president of the company.

I just finished changing my daughter's diaper, an event that I've become numb too, so much that I haven't had this thought until nearly 5 months in. On the front of these diapers there are printed images such as Mickey and Minnie, Winnie the Pooh, and Tiger too. Why? Honestly why? Don't give me the scripted answer "because kids love them". They are pooping on them. Kids don't see these images EVER. When they are old enough for pull ups and can recognize them, then disregard this blog, but for the other 20 month and younger demographic it serves zero purpose. So why not put something useful on there? Dare I say something interesting be printed for those that will see it. Let me tell you what I think would be perfect for the diaper printing bonanza that will be sweeping the nation soon. Target some audiences, follow me.

Oprah brand: Tell me Oprah isn't the voice of most mothers. Tell me Oprah doesn't love herself more than anything. She has the O mag, why not the O poopers. As much as mom's love hearing what Oprah has to say, why not have the diapers give you great Oprah Show moments like, 1988 Oprah walks into the studio starting her new season in skinny jeans toting a wagon full of 67 lbs. of fat.

Dad's that like sports: Diapers that have facts from various sport almanacs. I would love to be changing a poopy diaper but find out that the yankees have 26 world titles, more than any other sport team.

Mom's that like pop culture: Let's say you're one of those mom's that loves to read US Weekly. Why shouldn't that pee filled diaper tell you one of the 21 facts about Sex and the City. 1) Sarah Jessica Parker was once in a production of the Sound of Music.

History buffs like myself: Why shouldn't that poop dumpster tell me that Georgia was the only colony to not send a representative to the first Continental Congress, because they feared an attack from the Native Americans and wanted Britain's help.

want me to stop? do you catch my drift? I'll keep going.

Quotable: What about you people that absolutely love quotes? Changing diapers can be extremely frustrating, sometimes gross. Why shouldn't that moment be saved with a quote from Jess Jackson "Your children need your presence more than your presents".

Laughable: How about diapers that give you something laugh about, like, Politicians are like diapers, they need changed often, and for the same reason.

I could honestly give you topics forever. it's silly this hasn't been done before. You might say "whats the point?" The point is that it gives you something that maybe once every 5 diapers makes you stop and say "huh, no kidding" Right now I could change 354 diapers and never stop and say huh, unless it's because my kid just pooped on me. I would buy diapers that had fun facts every time.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hot and Cold

I am currently reading a book called Foreign to Familiar, based on the fact that I was asked to before I embark on the mission trip I am a part of this Nov. The basic point of the book is that our world is divided into Hot and Cold Culture climates, and those cultures are defined by how they relate to other people, situations, and themselves.

In a hot culture, the people there are embracing and welcoming. They want you to do the pop in. They want to know how you feel and worry about it when they are in your presence. In a hot culture if you ask someone for a ride to the grocery store, mind you their car is full and they have no available room, they will tell you "Ah, right now I'm full, but I think we can find a way, let me get back to you". They are more concerned with friendliness than information. The result they are concerned with is that you walk away saying "that dude was friendly". If you are together in a group, their main concern is that you are comfortable and happy. Even if that means sacrificing their own happiness. They are conditioned to not let you down, if you ask them a question they know the answer is going to be "no"....they tell you "yes", simply because they do not want to let you down.

In contrast, the Cold culture person is all about information. Friendliness is a waste of time. These are the work minded people that are efficient and want work done. If you ask a cold culture person for a ride to the grocery store and their car is full, they will simply say "my car is full, it won't work". They aren't being rude, they are being efficient. They don't think about your feelings first, they think about the end point. When it comes to telling you no, they tell you no because they have the vantage point of, "this is what you want to know". Why waste your time with fluff, if the answer is no, say no.

The great thing that I've learned from this book is that both cultures need one another. They work together like the Yin and the Yang. America is a melting pot of Hot and Cold cultures I believe. Don't look farther than my marriage. I've discussed this book with my wife, and we both agree that I end up being more like the Hot Culture, and she is more like the Cold culture. It's not that one is better than the other, it's just what it is. I look at it as the perfect harmony. If the whole world were Hot culture or Cold culture it wouldn't flow the way it should.

When I travel to El Salvador I will be coming into contact with a Hot culture. They will look at us with respect and with the idea of wanting to please us at all times. Knowing this, I need to not disrespect their effort. If they provide food, I need to enjoy it even if I feel like I'm eating dog poop. I look forward to reporting more to you about this mission trip and what God has in store for us in E.S.

Monday, October 18, 2010


I'm disgusted by politics. I even more disgusted when politicians run for election. Every ad tells you nothing. It's all slander and negative bash ads. No one ever accomplishes anything because the system is too broken. A good guy can't get through the process and get elected. If he does, he is 1 of 100. I'm currently teaching the unit on American Independence, when politicians (although crooked at their time also) declared a pretty bold statement and did what was best for the people. Granted, they were corrupt also, but at least they had the balls to do something. Today we are stuck with men and women that fight eachother in circles, solving nothing. It's a slap in the face of those men that signed the declaration.

Brewster says it best in this movie. Show me a candidate that campaigns on the morale high ground, and I'll vote for him/her.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

National Sweatervest Day

The other day at work I had an idea. What if I could get a large group of guys to all wear sweatervests on the same day. Why, you are probably asking yourself? Answer: For Kicks.

So the fake National Sweatervest Day came on October 6th, and to my immense satisfaction, 15 guys sported the Jim Tress Vest. I work in a building where three years ago cliques were the thing and "us" didn't include many people. Now I work in a building where "us" is the majority and although a vest may be stupid and small, it was a large sign of unity.

United we stand in the vest. Since it was a huge success, we decided to wear the vest for our middle school game too, with the power of the vest we pulled out a lopsided victory.