You wanna be the next heisman winner? Really? Have you thought this through? Little boy in the backyard that just juked your unathletic friend past the maple tree for a TD stop and think before you strike that iconic pose. If you have a dream of playing in the league someday, or the NFL for those that are behind on your hip lingo, you better hope you are the runner up at the downtown athletic club. You better hope that when Chris Fowler gets to that podium your name isn't behind that manilla folder. Why? After all the trophy is the defining moment of a college career? Thats exactly why. It's the defining moment of your college career, and your career there after. Lets take a look at the previous 20 year winners. Stay with me.2008 Sam Bradford Oklahoma QB- Broke his shoulder like a cheap pair of velcro shoes. twice. Lost a guaranteed $20 million in first round money. His career is still up in the air.
2007 Tim Tebow Florida QB- The most hated man in college football, why? He's great in all aspects of football, life, and being awesome.
2006 Troy Smith Ohio State QB- Blew the championship game against Florida, is now a career back up to a guy that played Div. I AA
2005 Reggie Bush USC RB- Not even the feature running back. He's a slash player, a gimmick guy. Sure he's flashy but do you hear Pierre Thomas or Reggie Bush's name more?
2004 Matt Leinart USC QB- HA. Really? The guy that starts in front of you bagged groceries and has a midget wife. You're a backup, maybe for life.
2003 Jason White Oklahoma QB- Not even in the league anymore. Really?
2002 Carson Palmer USC QB- I'm calling this the heisman exception right now, he's playing outside of his mind and could bust my theory.
2001 Eric Crouch Nebraska QB- Retired after 2-3 seasons. For injury you ask? Oh no, because he sucked.
2000 Chris Weinke Florida State QB- This guy pulled social security as soon as he won this award. He might be a backup right now, or a AARP rep.
1999 Ron Dayne Wisconsin RB- Had a decent start to his pro career, but where is he now?
1998 Ricky Williams Texas RB- wedding dress. marijauna. now the wildcat. Ricky might be back.
1997 Charles Woodson Michigan DB/WR- The only Defensive player in the last 12 years. This dude is still making plays, very impressive, plus my high school beat him in high school.
1996 Danny Wuerffel Florida QB- HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
1995 Eddie George Ohio State RB- THE MAN. FINALLY A TRUE WINNER THAT WENT ON TO A PRO CAREER.
1994 Rashaan Salaam Colorado RB- Oh man....how bout this guy? never made it. ever.
1993 Charlie Ward Florida State QB- Hilarious. did he get drafted? Honestly, he didn't.
1992 Gino Torretta Miami QB- Do you hear his name with Brett Favre? No, me neither.
1991 Desmond Howard Michigan WR- He's great on college gameday each sat. enough said. His pro career is like his old college now.
1990 Ty Detmer Brigham Young QB- Loved this guy. Had one year in the pro, or was that his brother Koy? I can't remember.
1989 Andre Ware Houston QB- 5-8 as an NFL starter. Ha
So do you want to be the next heisman trophy winner? Go look at the list of runner ups, I'll be on that list anyday. Forget the SI curse, someone start talking about the Heisman curse. If I have a son, I'm going to teach him to strike the runner up pose when he scores a TD, stand there, clap and nod in approval.
4 comments:
Don't make me post 100 videos of Eric Crouch and how he didn't suck. I'll do it.
Find one NFL clip where he doesn't suck.
And this my friend is the reason you decided to not go after the heisman....it is now making sense....Go Bucks...is the game on in Celina???
damnit brent. i hope you're excited to wake up to more coffee in your face. i'm going to make it rain this time.
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