It always starts off the same. I start to drift off mentally and I'm taken away to a clear as day picture of my face, my eyes to be exact. It's dark, but you can see my eyes fixed on something in the distant, bright and large. Like a zoom in a camera I begin to zoom out and coming into focus is my face, head, shoulders, and soon the whole body. I'm wearing a full set of football pads, helmet, and everything. My eyes still fixed on something. I can't make out colors of the uniform or anything because it's dark. Next thing I know like a camera being spun around 180 degrees, I am now behind myself and see that I am looking at a fuzzy full field of defenders, all staring at me. I start barking out words that I can't make out, but they seem very important. I go back and forth, head swiveling and begin to get under center. This is where it get's weird. Everytime I start to drop back with the ball my view shifts as if I'm looking thru my own eyes, scanning back and forth...but I never throw it. I never find anyone or even attempt to throw it. The vision ends right there.
This vision has been happening like I said since I was right around 14 years old. I always thought it meant I would have that exact moment in a game when I was playing, but I never did. Then in college I thought this might be the moment when I would take a hit and literally die on the field, because "they hit kinda hard in college". That never happened, or I cheated it by only playing one year. Now I don't even coach football and am unsure why this vision is still a part of my life. It's not a dream, I am always awake, and I can always tell myself what the next part of the vision will be, but I can't get passed that dropback, it always ends.
Ok, psychoanalyze that people.
1 comment:
You know that saying "Once a Marine always a Marine?" I think the same thing goes for those who played football and developed a true love for the game. I would make the bold statement that every person that fall into this category has a similar vision, just specific to the position they played. By the way, your vision ends with me hitting you so hard you blow snot bubbles.
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